What Lane? Page 8
“Because he couldn’t do it to me. He likes hurting us.”
My mind goes to when Wes told me Chad kept hurting him in Hands.
Wes’s voice goes so low and forceful that I feel his words more than my bloody, pounding forehead. “Bruh, me and my friends are getting Chad back. Him and his boys’ faces are gonna be worse than Stephen’s.”
Dan stays quiet.
“You can’t,” I tell Wes.
“Have to,” Wes says. “If we don’t get even, what’s next? Other people think they can hurt you too? Or they trap some other Black kid in the future? Nah.”
I trace the bloody letters of WHAT LANE? on my bracelet. I think of lanes. “Wes, going there and beating him up will do what?”
“Make it stop from happening again.”
I look at Wes. Yo! His face. He reminds me of how my dad looked when we watched the Tamir Rice video and I thought my dad might break his laptop in two with his bare hands. This also reminds me of things me and my dad spoke about.
I look at Dan. “I need you to handle Chad.”
Dan puffs up, clenches his hands, and holds his fists up so awkward. “Okay. I’ll get Chad and punch his face.”
Me and Wes bust out laughing.
Wes snort-chuckles. “Dan, you don’t really hold up your hands that way to fight, right?”
I laugh harder. “Oww!” I slap my hand to the knot between my eyes because laughing that hard made it hurt, but smacking it hurt me more.
Wes asks Dan what I wonder. “So you gonna beat up your own cousin?”
Dan puts his fists down. “Who am I kidding? I’ve never been in a fight. Just slap-boxed with Stephen.”
“Dan, you got me wrong. When I say ‘handle’ him, I don’t mean with your fists.”
“How, then?” Dan asks me.
“Tell Chad you know what he did and why. And he better fix it, or . . . I don’t know what. You just gotta talk with him.”
Wes is still amped. “No disrespect, Stephen, but that kumbaya ‘talk to Chad’ crap is soft. You think it’ll change him? You know what’ll change him. If we stomp on him. If he gets a foot in his—”
“Then what?” I interrupt Wes. “Why’d you say we couldn’t slap-box near the comic store?”
He eyes Dan. His expression says he doesn’t want to say in front of him. “You know why.”
“Exactly. It’s what we spoke about in advisory. Which is why it’d be better if you don’t ride that lane. People think that’s our lane. That we’re violent, or trouble.” I turn to Dan. “You know how that white couple almost called the cops on me when we slap-boxed?”
Dan nods.
“And how Junior barked on me like I was a criminal and knew the bike thief? Or that man in the supermarket’s bakery?”
“Yeah. All that was messed up.”
“So picture Wes and his friends getting caught beating up Chad and two white boys,” I say. “What you think’ll happen?”
“You’re right.”
“And Chad getting beat up by Wes won’t change how he thinks. It’d probably make him angrier toward us.”
“True,” Dan breathes out hard. “Whew. I’ve been thinking a lot about how messed up Chad is. Me and my parents saw what happened in Charlottes-ville with white supremacists, and how one of them actually drove into a crowd of protesters and killed someone. When I saw your bloody face . . . it made me scared of what Chad could do. Bruh, you think he could do something like that driver in the future?”
I nod. “If Chad keeps riding this lane, who knows.”
“Okay,” Dan says. “My family has to do something about him. I’ll start by talking to them now.”
Dan lifts up his fist, and this time it’s to fist-bump Wes.
Wes bumps him back. “Yeah, and tell Chad if he doesn’t try fixing this, I’ll fix his face.”
CHAPTER 30
THAT NIGHT, I stare up at the solar system on my ceiling. I remember my dad telling me, The world is yours.
He was right, in a way.
After Dan and Wes left this afternoon, I got texts from Erik, Devin, and Elijah checking in to see how I was. And then Jen and Jeremiah and Christopher texted too.
Because of them, it feels like the world is in my lane. That feels like power. They have my back. And they swerve from different lanes to chill together sometimes. It’s cool and I want that to keep on.
I look down at my bracelet’s words—WHAT LANE? I don’t know how many times I’ve looked at this thing. Now the words’re splattered with blood. As I rub it off, I replay everything up to my getting set up. All of a sudden, what comes to mind is a feeling: Maybe I need to think deeper about this lane stuff. I can’t let people use it on me to get me in wrong lanes—to do dares or let them trap and hurt me.
Like Christopher and Dan said, things don’t usually end well if we ride in Chad’s lane.
And like my dad said: Not everyone who is supposed to be friendly is. I need to wake up more of my white friends so they see prejudice is real. They can fix that in their lane.
Tomorrow’s not New Year’s—it’s Halloween—but I have a new goal: to stop trying to do what everyone does and start really doing me.
I’ll swerve into the lanes I choose. Maybe even find new ones.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks is a fraction of my appreciation for my agent, Charlotte Sheedy. Charlotte, you’re family in many ways, including how you surround me with those who do what the best of family does. That brings me to more family—Nancy, as my editor, you get what I want to say and you amplify my voice. Thanks to everyone on the Nancy Paulsen team.
Ma, you’re everything. To my daughter and wife—thanks for supporting my writing and sharing me with the world. To my sisters, nieces and nephews, and in-laws: we’re doing this! To all kids, kids of color, mixed kids, and families who feel there should be no lanes—let’s gooooo!
To all of our allies and accomplices. We’re jigsaw puzzle pieces that fit into the bigger picture of our whole human family. Thank you to those who unify our world and build greater awareness, empathy, and upliftment.
I grew up in a tough, segregated neighborhood. If you’re from Red Hook, Brooklyn, or beyond and helped me be positive when negatives nearly dragged me down, thank you. If you made sure I didn’t lower my volume to blend in but helped raise my voice to be better for us all—you’re awesome.
I’ve had WOW experiences and connections with my first and second books—Secret Saturdays and Tight. Those journeys built me up to build the world of What Lane? Thank you if you’ve fueled me on that course to get here.
Childhood should have spaces where kids can be kids. This book is for everyone creating and protecting those spaces. I’m lucky as an adult to have taught for over twenty years because I’ve gotten to do that. That’s also why I write. This book is about a kid trying to hold on to joy as the world of adults tries to snatch it from him. It is for those of us who are uncomfortable with conversations about people being different. What Lane? is for all who raise the volume of kids to do the same and who make sure kids don’t relive lives of limit.
Tough topics can be tough. Sometimes it’s too tough to connect “eye to eye.” This book is for everyone who wants to try—even if it means connecting “shoulder to shoulder” as we walk with young people into better tomorrows.
PRAISE FOR TORREY MALDONADO
TIGHT
• Christopher Award
• Washington Post Best Children’s Books of 2018
• ALA Notable
• ALA Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers
• CCBC Choices 2019
• ALSC Notable Children’s Recordings
“I was riveted by Bryan’s journey, breaking down stereotypes and becoming his own kind of superhero. This, in and of itself, is not only Bryan’s superpower but Maldonado’s
as well. Loved this book!”
—JACQUELINE WOODSON, National Book Award–winning author of Brown Girl Dreaming
“Tight hits all the right notes in delivering a suspenseful tale of what it means to become a man in a world split by superhero devotion and macho swagger. A thoughtful look into the pitfalls of male friendship and a riveting addition to tween lit.”
—G. NERI, Coretta Scott King Honor–winning author of Yummy
“Looking for a tale of a good kid trying to navigate the dark temptations that can only come from a one-sided friendship? Seek ye no further. This is a book featuring a complexity of character we’re lucky to find in a 21st century middle grade novel. Torrey Maldonado hits this one out of the park.”
—BETSY BIRD, A Fuse #8 Production, School Library Journal
“[Maldonado] excels at depicting realistic and authentic interactions between middle school boys. An excellent addition to libraries with fans of David Barclay Moore’s The Stars Beneath Our Feet, Jason Reynolds’s Ghost, and character-driven realistic fiction.”
—SCHOOL LIBRARY JOURNAL, starred review
“Through Bryan’s believable, emotionally honest first-person narration, Maldonado skillfully shows a boy trying to navigate parental desires and the societal expectations of his Brooklyn neighborhood while trying to figure himself out. Readers will be rooting for Bryan to make the right choices even as they understand the wrong ones.”
—KIRKUS REVIEWS
“Maldonado’s novel quietly interrogates toxic masculinity in a story that will resonate with middle-grade readers who, just like Bryan, are questioning who they are, who they want to be friends with, and how those choices will impact their lives.”
—BOOKLIST
“The author shrewdly builds suspense, fueling readers’ dread that Bryan’s poor choices will have dire consequences. . . . This is a psychologically intricate story of the challenges and rewards of family, friendship, and discerning one’s true self.”
—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
“A book about making good choices and knowing who your real friends are, topics that are relatable to nearly everyone. . . . It is an engaging story and readers will find themselves rooting for Bryan.”
—SCHOOL LIBRARY CONNECTION
SECRET SATURDAYS
•ALA Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers
“The world these boys live in is all too real. Torrey Maldonado writes with insight and authenticity about friendship and tough choices. It’s a story you won’t forget.”
—COE BOOTH, Los Angeles Times Book Prize–winning author of Tyrell
“Torrey Maldonado sticks his finger in an all too familiar hole of a brokenhearted urban community. Playground tough with a sweet center.”
—RITA WILLIAMS-GARCIA, Newbery Honor–winning author of One Crazy Summer
“Ought to be required reading at middle schools everywhere. Maldonado gives us both voice and heart. His young characters navigate a challenging world with endearing earnestness, lively style, and a heartening desire for true dignity.”
—E. R. FRANK, award–winning author of Life Is Funny
“Explores inner-city life for a middle school audience with sympathy and humor . . . readers will find both insight and hope.”
—THE BULLETIN OF THE CENTER FOR CHILDREN’S BOOKS
“Notable for its viscerally authentic treatment of setting . . . infectiously readable, and its characters are sympathetically realized.”
—BOOKLIST
“Resonates with the authenticity of a preteen doing his best in an urban landscape that has taught him all he knows.”
—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
“A story of friendship, survival, deception and relationships . . . a fast read, entertaining and high interest.”
—LIBRARY MEDIA CONNECTION
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Torrey Maldonado (torreymaldonado.com), the author of the critically acclaimed Tight and Secret Saturdays, is a teacher in Brooklyn, New York, where he was born and raised. His books reflect his students' and his experiences.
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